My Addiction to Internet PORN!!
--
The sun shafts were levelling down and it was a pleasant evening. I was exhausted after playing cricket for the whole day amidst the sweltering heat of the Indian summer. While gazing at the picturesque sunset I was just having some refreshments on the terrace of my apartment complex, whilst my friends were huddled in a corner focusing on a single smartphone screen.
As the famously titled novel “Curiosity Killed the Cat” by Sierra Harimann, I too was drawn to my friends with immense curiosity. Pushing and shoving my way to the centre seat, I curiously gazed at the mobile screen. It was a blue film aka porn video playing, where two characters, one male and the second a female were making love in various positions.
I vividly remember that I was barely a teenager, around 12–13 years old, studying in eighth grade at school when I got introduced to internet porn. It was immensely addictive, and the sooner I became addicted. I did, not realise what trouble it would get me into in the future. It was during my puberty years when I was dipped into deep stress of my failing in my school exams, social life, etc, while I clubbed my porn addiction with masturbation.
It was a great stress relief, but I just could not grasp the harmful impacts of it on my future life. Eventually, my porn, masturbation and orgasm (PMO) addiction grew immensely like the metaphorical Jack’s beanstalk. My career, social life, parental relationship, health, and most importantly my mindset all spiralled out of my control. I was now a serial PMO addict. I barely had any energy to pursue my goals, my self-esteem was down the drain and my confidence was stooping low. I looked and behaved like a drug addict.
It was during this darkest moment in my life when I accidentally stumbled upon a No Nut November challenge video on YouTube. Initially, I was sceptical as I had heard that PMO is normal or an acceptable behaviour. But, it was during the 2020 COVID-19 crisis when the Indian Government imposed a strict lockdown in the country, so I decided to give the No Fap challenge a try. The No Fap challenge has three sub-stages, the first one is easy mode, where you can masturbate but can’t watch porn, the second stage allows you to have sex with your partner but you can’t watch porn, whereas the third stage known as a hard mode where you can have sex but you can’t ejaculate or watch porn. And, last but not least the third stage, infamously dubbed “Monk Mode” where you have to abstain from any kind of ejaculation, and not watch porn and any kind of sensual/ sexual material.
I accidentally did the Monk Mode straight for a whopping 108 days. And boy the benefits were real. I felt like a God, who could master anything and everything. While on this journey I decided to document everything in my journal. I have precise the whole journey as follows:
Days One to Thirty: The first two to three days are the hardest in this journey. You have to keep yourself busy, or else you’ll surely relapse. Go to the gym, play an outdoor sport in your nearest garden or go read a book or so at your nearest library, the main aim during the first week or so should be to keep yourself busy. Don’t let boredom take you hostage at any cost. Moreover, you’ll also have some withdrawal symptoms like a mild fever, anxiety or occasional panic attacks, but believe me, this is because your body and mind are so used to your PMO habit. A sudden stop in PMO does get your mind into a panic mode. Also, during the initial few weeks, your testosterone levels will shoot up dramatically, thus making you angrier, irritated and frustrated even at small things/ events. But just keep pushing yourself, as Winston Churchill once famously said, “If you are going through hell, keep going”. Moreover, as I reached the 21-day mark, my sleep duration reduced, and I became more eager to learn, read books or exercise. Also, you can add cold showers to your daily routine, they help keep the inflammation and uncontrollable urges at bay.
Days Thirty to Sixty: Congratulations and welcome to the one-month club, you have successfully passed one of the hardest weeks in this 90-day reboot journey. Now, some of you will experience the infamously dubbed “Flatline” phase. In this phase, you won’t have any drive in your life, you’ll lose your motivation to do things, you’ll lose your libido and you’ll always be lethargic throughout your day. But, don’t lose motivation, this is primarily because your brain is rewiring, accustoming itself to a new reality. It is during this flatline phase where most people relapse and give up, but boy believe me it’s just a few weeks and you’ll be alright back again. My flatline phase lasted for at least twenty days, where I used to be huddled into my thick blanket and would be dozing off for the entire day. But, metaphorically speaking I just kept on punching and dodging, any obstacles I encountered during my flatline phase.
Days Sixty to Ninety: Congratulations, you have surpassed all the major obstacles on your reboot journey. Now you are on a smooth sailing ship but as the infamous Murphy’s law adages “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.”, possibly at the worst time too. As you pass the ninety-day mark your brain is now rewired into a new realm, One where no porn exists, One where no sexually addictive loop cycle is there, One where you are free from any kind of addiction. Just be cautious, occasionally you might get into a flatline or so, but that won’t last that long. You just have to exercise the new powers of No Fap aka Semen Retention as a tool to bring out the higher self within.
On a concluding note, I would like to emphasise that this No Fap aka semen retention reboot journey is a life-changing watershed moment in a man’s life. At the time of writing this article, I would state that even though I am struggling on this journey, the goal seems to be distant, grainy and the pathway seems to be tricky but, I am mulling up all the courage and willpower I have to push to the limits know to mankind and win this personal war against my addiction to Internet Porn.
